Count The Ways

[x]

"You alienated yourself," Erik shot back. "Do you really believe that you are the only one who struggles with your mutation? Do not victimize yourself, Charles.”

Charles narrowed his eyes a bit at that. He’d never once believed he was the only one who had difficulties controlling his mutation. That was why he had wanted to set up the school, why he had wanted to give mutant children a place where they could learn to control their abilities and have the guidance mutants like himself and Erik never had.

It was difficult to explain, what was messing with his telepathy in those brief moments when the serum wore off, even to himself. It was a block Charles had never experienced before in his life, and he had no one to help him overcome it. He himself had no idea how to overcome, and so he’d decided in a moment of weakness to do away with it. Then they’d discovered that the serum had a side-effect that enabled him to walk, and, yes, Charles had been selfish. He hated to admit it, but it was a point he would concede to Erik.

"You should have come with us.”

Charles choked on his drink.

"You should have come with me, Raven, and the others. If you truly feared isolation, then you should have joined us.”

He coughed and sputtered, working to regain his breath and his voice. Go with them? And do what, exactly? Spend the rest of his days feeling others die in his head, time and time again, until he forgot every piece of himself that had once comprised him? Until he became as damaged and scar-ridden as Erik himself?

“If I had gone with you, Erik,” Charles said, his voice still hoarse from the alcohol, “I would have become far more isolated far more quickly than I am now.”

There was no doubt in his mind about that. Perhaps Erik would have found no use for Shaw’s helmet if he thought he could cajole Charles into playing his mental bodyguard, and if Charles were a different man, he might have agreed. In another life, another universe, he may have gladly gone with Erik, may have enjoyed the fighting and the killing and hated humans and the world as much as Erik did.

But the bottom line was that Charles was not that man. He was not Emma Frost, whose telepathy was only moderate in strength and whose diamond form had allowed her to hold the whole of the world at arm’s length. He was not Erik, tormented by madmen and persecuted for something as ridiculous as religious faith. He was not Raven, drifting from one side to another.

He was just a fool, a naive telepath whose unwavering optimism and faith in the world had proven to be his undoing. 

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Erik watched Charles' histrionic display of his reaction to Erik's suggestion. He just looked at him, unmoved as Charles struggled with his drink and preventing himself from choking any more than he had. He then replied, stating that he would have been more isolated if he had gone with them. Why, because his views were so different from theirs? Because he had preferred this kind of life as oppose to one with other mutants, even though he said that he was ostracized by both humans and mutants? Erik's sympathy for him was starting to diminish. Not his sympathy for what happened on the beach, but sympathy for what he was now. For other events that seemed to have shaped him into this kind of man. One that Erik was seeing less and less of Charles in.

It is a shame, that you do not recognize those around you who care. Instead, you claim to be isolated and alone, pitying yourself." Erik was not done. He was past trying to delicately put things. Though perhaps they had reached that point a few exchanges back. "I offered you a chance to be with me, Raven, and the others, yet you denied it and currently claim that mutants want nothing to do with you." Clearly, a sweeping generalization for if that was the case, then Erik would never have asked, nor wanted, Charles to join him. But that had not been the situation. "Even now, look at Hank. He had practically devoted his life to taking care of you and staying with you. Yet you recognize none of that and continue on with your self pity and victimization." Claiming that he was isolated. "Everyone has suffered." In different ways, and to different extents. "It is what we do with it, that defines who we are." Erik had suffered at the hands of Shaw, and now dedicated his life to fighting for mutant freedom. "And you, Charles . . . are a coward." The man that he was right now, was a coward. The Charles he was before, now that was a mutant to be respected and admired.

[x]

“It is a shame that you do not recognize those around you who care. Instead, you claim to be isolated and alone, pitying yourself,” Erik responded. “I offered you a chance to be with me, Raven, and the others, yet you denied and currently claim that mutants want nothing to do with you.”

Charles pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d decided against going with Erik that day in Cuba because all he could see for Erik’s path was bloodshed and destruction. Charles couldn’t be part of that, couldn’t function as the soldier Erik would have demanded he be. If Charles had been more like Cain—angry, vengeful, with a vendetta against the world—then he would have said yes. But he might not have even bothered to save Erik that first time, or bothered to give Raven a more stable home.

“Even now, look at Hank. He had practically devoted his life to taking care of you and staying with you, yet you recognize none of that and continue on with your self-pity and victimization.”

Oh, Hank. Charles was eternally indebted to the younger scientist. He hadn’t been the easiest person to live with—apparently he never was—but Hank had stayed. But Erik’s perspective of the situation only showed how impossible it would be to fully convey Charles’s exact meaning. Erik’s view of the world around him was incredibly physical, concrete, able to be examined with little more than the basic five senses. And in that sense, yes, Charles hadn’t been alone. He’d had the school at first, and then Hank for the remainder, and he knew he hadn’t been truly alone in the sense of another person near him.

But when it came to his mutation, to his fractured mind, Charles had been alone. They’d tried at first, having Charles try to anchor himself to Hank, but it hadn’t taken. Then things had only gotten worse, and his own health had been compromised. Charles hadn’t begged for that first dose; Hank had given it to him to give him a sort at recovery. Things had simply deteriorated from there.

"Everyone has suffered. It is what we do with it that defines who we are,” Erik continued, and Charles didn’t need his telepathy to sense the waves of condescension practically rolling off of him. "And you, Charles . . . are a coward."

“And you understand nothing, old friend,” Charles responded, spitting the word as though it were crafted from acid. “You see the world in black and white, as clearly cut as the damn chessboard, but you never spare a thought as to the shades of gray in between.

“Hank was with me these past eleven years, and you’ve no idea how sincerely grateful I am that he’s managed to put up with me. But I needed an anchor, a mind that could help my own heal from the trauma your damned coin and those months in the hospital high on morphine caused. We tried, Hank and I, but it never took.”

He refilled his glass and took another drink.

“I may be a coward, in your opinion, but I have my reasons. I am not you, Erik. I cannot choose to go out and burn the world down, damn the consequences. I am not a killer. I’ve never been one for violence."

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Erik understood nothing apparent. "So you keep telling me," he almost immediately retorted. Yet it was mutual. For Charles understood nothing either. He was far too deep into his self pity to comprehend what Erik was saying. How could he still so vehemently disagree with Erik's views when he had told him not too long ago that he had been right; that he had said they would come after them. They had a future of proof to show what humans would do to mutants when given the chance. And yet now, Charles still claimed that he only saw things black and white. Erik saw the world as humans and mutants, and the war that existed this time was not limited to a few countries, but rather, was taking place all around the world. Once again, he spoke of how he needed an anchor; needing something grater to heal from the suffering that Erik had caused him. Ah yes. The torture that the poor man endured. Erik knew what torture was. He had endured years of it in a concentration camp, yet never used that to throw in anyone's face as an example. He had taken the experience and learned from it, grew from it, allowed it to make him strong.

Charles was doing the opposite. Using it to weaken him, and as justification for why he indulged in such self pity and loneliness. And to what, cause Erik to feel guilty? "Ah yes. Disregard anyone's care for you because it is insufficient in your eyes. Recognize not that people are willing to help you because it is inadequate. Because you are beyond being helped. Because you have endured such suffering and torment that no other person could possibly comprehend." He was being sarcastic. Bitterly sarcastic. For he'd had enough of Charles dismissively telling him he didn't understand whenever Magneto tried to remind him. "There can be no solace for Charles Xavier, because he is so far beyond any hope of it." Once again, sarcasm. He paused, making his move on the chess board but the game seemed to be rather pointless for neither of them were overly focused on it. "I make a rather convenient scapegoat for all your troubles, don't I?" He asked rhetorically. Yes, he would always feel guilty for what happened on the beach. But he would not be blame for Charles' isolation. That was by his own doing.

[x]

As a child, Charles had often wondered what his life would have been like if his mutation had been anything other than telepathy. He’d wondered what the world looked like to people whose perspectives weren’t tinged with the thoughts and feelings of everyone else around them. What would his own life have been had he not been made privy to his mother’s utter detachment and cool regard towards him at such a young age? If he hadn’t been able to see into Kurt’s mind and discover that the man would not be the father Sharon had hoped he would? Perhaps he would have actually learned how to interact with people, how to say the right thing rather than constantly screwing it up.

Unfortunately, Charles had been born a telepath. His mutation hindered him in learning how to interact with people in a normal fashion, and the result was that he was utterly incapable of saying the right thing to anybody.

“Ah yes. Disregard anyone’s care for you because it is insufficient in your eyes. Recognize not that people are willing to help you because it is inadequate. Because you are beyond being helped. Because you have endured such suffering and torment that no other person could possibly comprehend.”

That had not been what he was trying to convey! He’d been in Erik’s mind, he had felt all that Shaw had put him through. No, nothing Charles had ever been through truly compared. Even the beatings, Kurt’s experiments, and Cain’s wounded rage would never fully compare to what Erik experienced at Shaw’s hands. They had been made in two different realms, brought together only by a strange twist of fate. Their circumstances had been different, their tormentors had held different ends in mind. And Charles, born wealthy and privileged, had never and would never experience anything that could be validated when compared to the sufferings of others.

“There can be no solace for Charles Xavier, because he is so far beyond any hope of it,” Erik mocked, and Charles bit his tongue.

Yes, he’d quite forgotten, hadn’t he? His wealth, his privilege, his status—all of it negated everything he felt. He’d been so selfish, hadn’t he? To feel as though any pain he felt, any loss or isolation, mattered at all to anyone. What was his own pain when compared to the pain that broke Erik and remade him? Or to anyone, really? He should simply swallow everything he’s ever felt because every experience he’d ever had was completely without meaning. Oh how could he have ever been so stupid to forget that?

“I make a rather convenient scapegoat for all your troubles, don’t I?”

Charles took a deep breath and swallowed everything he’d wanted to say. This was turning into an argument he wouldn’t win, one he couldn’t win, and if he opened his mouth again, he’d only say the absolute worst thing he possibly could. Like he did with Raven, and with Erik back in Cuba. They could all be justified in their pain, recognized in it, but not Charles. And that wasn’t fine, not even close, but Charles could do nothing against it. He was lucky. He’d never been thrown out onto the streets. He’d never seen his mother shot dead because he couldn’t access his abilities. He’d grown up in a big, fancy estate and had access to wonderful schooling. He’d never gone hungry or wanting, unless it had to do with human affection.

All of his anger dimmed, smoldering within him as he took another drink. He needed to stop, needed to be sober come landing. If he had anymore, he would be of no use to anyone. Not that he ever was to begin with, but that was rather the point of all this, wasn’t it? He was, for all intents and purposes, human at the moment. Charles’s only worth came from his bank account and his telepathy; that was the lesson he’d forgotten, and he really should thank Erik for the refresher.

And so, Charles swallowed his words, his anger, his pain, and remained silent, eyes focused on the chessboard before him.

[Erik Lehnsherr]

It that Erik had rendered Charles to silence. Well that was certainly a first. Did he not have something disapproving to say? It was not that Erik actually enjoying debating with Charles. It was a shame really, that it always resorted to that. But everything was different from the time they had first met. A time when they had united to take down a common enemy. Where they understood the other, and valued their points of view. Where they were able to travel around and recruit other mutants for the same purpose and be very in sync of what they were asking of them. But now, it was entirely different. Magneto recruited mutants for his own cause, as Charles had once opened a school to offer mutants a safe haven. Their views now clashed so drastically that Magneto was certain that once this was all over, he doubted he would see Charles again unless another unforeseen circumstance forced their inevitable reunion.

Erik returned the silence, not saying anything. His eyes having looked at Charles, looked at the chess game. A game that had been an attempt to help them remember a time when they had so much more in common. Compared to now, where Charles blamed him for a great deal, and all Erik could do was explain the reasons for his actions. A futile argument, for neither was going to accept the other person's views. What brought them together now was Raven. Yet Erik also knew that Charles was not going to like how that ended. He was clearly bitter and angry at him for -- how had he phrased it -- taking her away from him. He knew his actions, ones he was still debating on and hoping that he would not have to do, would be unforgivable. Even to himself.

[x]

Despite what he said, Charles couldn’t handle silence. He’d spent his life with a faint, constant hum buzzing in the back of his mind as a result of his telepathy. Isolation was a terrifying concept for him as isolation would have to mean a dead world. He couldn’t be isolated. Alienated, yes, set apart, but never completely isolated.

(Until Shaw and his helmet came along. Then Charles was confronted with a material that his telepathy couldn’t penetrate. The possibility of addressing someone who had no mind he could sense. It was the stuff of nightmares.)

And so, to end the silence, he sought out a safer topic.

“...You’re certain Kennedy was a mutant?”

Charles remembered every moment of his life with vivid clarity—the result of his telepathy making it depressingly uneasy to forget. He could recall his first experience with Cerebro, the elation he’d felt as his mind was able to stretch out over the entirety of the East Coast, the country, and even well beyond the borders of the U.S. All of that space, and he cannot recall, for the life of him, registering the President as a mutant. 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue hadn’t shown up on any of the printouts, either. Had it gotten lost? Mixed up? Had he been so focused on the other mutants he encountered that he never even realized he’d registered the President?

“I know he did not view us unfavorably, but are you certain he was actually a mutant?”

Intelligence could be faulty. Assumptions could be made. Charles’s telepathy never lied, and his memory was not as easily fooled as the memories of others. Or maybe the serum and the alcohol had finally left permanent marks on him.

[Erik Lehnsherr]

When Charles spoke, Erik's gaze raised from the board to his friend. He felt a strong feeling of hope in his heart, that whatever was said between them, was not enough to cause more silence, or any more damage to their already tense relationship. Erik could never hate Charles. He could never call him anything less than a friend. And that was perhaps why he even spoke of his views to him. For while he knew Charles would not accept them -- just as Erik did not accept Charles -- he still wanted that contact with him. He still wanted to speak to him, and to have a conversation with him, even if it tended to involve bickering and disagreement. His question now however, posed no such threat. It was one that Erik could confidently answer. Charles had believed him when Erik had revealed that JFK was a mutant, and he wanted to elaborate on the incident. Erik knew there had been laws he had broken, but assassinating the President was not one of them. Yet, it had been the one he was most condemned for.

"I am positive," he said, ensuring to look at Charles while he said these words. Even if Charles did not have his telepathy to detect Erik's lie, he was aware that his friend knew him. Knew that he would not lie, he had no reason to. And hoped he could see the honesty and sincerity in his gaze and the unwavering certainty he had in his tone of voice when answering the question. "No one else knew, nor did I expose him." The trials he had were secret ones. But he did not out the President for being a mutant. It was not Erik's place to do that. He could try to convince mutants to not be ashamed of their gifts, but he would not publicly state that another was a mutant. "I tried to save him, but I couldn't." Regret strong in his voice, for he had been so close in doing so, yet had failed so miserably. "I was immediately apprehended," Erik continued, knowing Charles had not asked for all the details yet felt the need to explain them to him. At least it was a safer topic. "They discovered that I could control metal, making me display my power during the trial." They had made him bend a rod, to prove that he had curved the bullet. "They had already decided that I was guilty." So the trial had just been procedure to make sure they did not infringe on his rights.

[x]

“I am positive,” Erik confirmed. “No one else knew, nor did I expose him.”

Then Kennedy’s mutation would be a secret taken to their graves. They may disagree on several key points, but thankfully one they agreed on was that no mutant was to be revealed as such by anyone other than themselves. Mutation was at once a social issue and an intensely private matter.

“I tried to save him, but I couldn’t,” the metalokinetic continued, regret coloring his words so fiercely that had Charles still been in possession of his telepathy the force of it would have left him breathless. Erik never did feel things by halves.

“I was immediately apprehended. They discovered that I could control metal, making me display my power during the trial. They had already decided that I was guilty.”

“Considering your mutation, I’m impressed they even gave you a trial at all,” Charles commented, looking Erik straight in the eye.

He took a deep breath and averted his gaze. “I will admit, Erik, when I first heard, I did not want to believe it. I know your ideals, your goals, but I did not wish to think you capable of killing someone who had never made himself an enemy. But when they started in on the ‘magic bullet,’ well, I began to run short on reasons to hold faith.”

Faith in his friend, faith in the good that he had seen in Erik’s mind, faith that they could ever one day find themselves truly wanting the same things. In many ways, the idea that Erik had ruthlessly gunned down a man who could have easily become their greatest ally had been an even worse betrayal than the bullet in his spine and the loss of his sister and friend.

But the revelation that Kennedy had been a mutant, coupled with his refusal to make enemies out of mutantkind, brought a darker concern to Charles’s awareness. How likely was it that his assassination had been a planned job, one that was inadvertently aided by Erik’s attempted interference? Or, even worse, what if Erik had been deliberately led to Dallas for the express purpose of being framed for the murder? The implications behind that trail of thought was enough to make Charles shudder.

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Charles expressed his surprise in the fact that they had even given him a trial. Such was true. For the trial had not achieved anything; they may as well have thrown him in a cell without one. "My belief is that part of why they granted me one, was curiosity." Curiosity to his mutant powers. "To see what I could do with their own eyes." Bending the crowbar as they had made him do. "To further validate their fear." In the mutant race, for mutants could do the seemingly impossible. And humans feared that. Humans feared being destroyed by a mutant's superiority. Erik looked at Charles as he went on to explain how he had not wanted to believe that he'd killed the President, despite his goals and differing views from Charles. To hear that he still held faith in him, before he heard of the bending bullet. While Erik trusted his friend, he would understand if that trust was not reciprocated. Erik would take whatever faith Charles had in him may be re-instilled by this truth. Though he also feared that that too would soon be diminished.

"I do not seek out humans to destroy them," Erik told him. He knew Charles may disagree with him, but Magneto stood by his goals. "I strike back when they strike first." He didn't want to argue with him, and knew that neither would conform to the others viewpoints. "I know you may not believe me Charles, but it is the truth." He was defending their race when needed; like the missiles, like Kennedy, like what Trask was now doing . . . Erik acted in retaliation. "Kennedy's death was a tragedy that I will wish I could have been successful in preventing. But once again, it was a human who killed a mutant. And this is a frequency that is increasing at an alarming rate." Erik didn't know how much Charles was aware of, and how much he had sheltered himself from the world. He only hoped that now, his friend would return to the Xavier those who knew, respected, and even admired . . . including Erik.

[x]

“I do not seek out humans to destroy them,” Erik insisted. “I strike back when they strike first. I know you may not believe me, Charles, but it is the truth.”

Retaliation. That was all Erik seemed to care for. Charles was far more interested in prevention, of avoiding the conflict entirely. When he stopped the missiles back in Cuba, when he aimed to save the president, those were moments when Charles had no conflict with Erik’s desire to protect mutants. It was always what came after (hit the one who hit you, the only response Erik can seem to remember) that made Charles want to beat his head against the wall.

“Kennedy’s death was a tragedy that I will wish I could have been successful in preventing. But, once again, it was a human who killed a mutant. And this is a frequency that is increasing at an alarming rate.”

“But you said no one knew,” Charles pointed out. “You told me that no one knew that Kennedy was a mutant aside from you and however you received your intelligence.”

Which could still have been deliberate, tampered with, and Erik would have never known.

“You cannot cite Kennedy’s assassination as a deliberate act of war on mutants by humankind, Erik. Unless you are completely certain that the nature of Kennedy’s genetics was known to his killer and the killer in question decided to kill Kennedy on that fact alone. There are too many variables to be certain of one possible explanation of some of the facts.”

All Charles could see were questions surrounding the assassination. There were too many factors, too many variables to consider, too many what-ifs. It wasn’t creating a very complete or pleasant picture.

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Charles reminded Erik of his own words, stating that no one else knew. "No one that I know of," he clarified. It was far too great of a coincidence that Kennedy had been assassinated and that he was a mutant. In today's society, Erik would not put anything past humans. He then went on to say that he could not possibly determine that the person who killed Kennedy had been aware of his mutation that set him in the mutant race category, rather than a homo sapien. "And you can not confidently tell me that that was not the reason," Erik stated, using the same doubt to argue in his favor. "You can not ignore the possibility of it, Charles. You say that there are many variables to consider, and you are right. But there is also the chance that whoever did kill Kennedy, did so because he was a mutant." This is where their different perspectives came in.

Charles liked to think of the best in people, always give the benefit of the doubt to humans. Erik was the complete opposite; he saw the worst in humans because he had witnessed and experienced their wrath and cruelty. "Regardless of the killer's motivations, I intervened because the President was a mutant. And the authorities found it convenient and easy for them to blame a mutant for his murder. I lost a decade of my life because of that." Because they refused to actually investigate properly. Because of the naivety and downright stupidity of humans. Magneto would never get that time back. There was so much he could have accomplished in ten years. So much had happened. Yet all he could do was mediate and keep exercising his mind. For in the absence of contact with other people, conversation, and well, basically everything else, it was rather easy -- and likely -- to slip into an irreversible state of insanity.

[x]

Erik clarified his meaning, and Charles worried his bottom lip.

“And you cannot confidently tell me that that was not the reason,” he pointed out. “You cannot ignore the possibility of it, Charles. You say that there are many variables to consider, and you are right. But there is also the chance that whoever did kill Kennedy did so because he was a mutant.”

Charles swallowed and conceded that point. At the same time, however, he was unwilling to accept one possible explanation of some of the facts when it was just as likely that another, better option existed. It was a habit ingrained into his very psyche from years in academia.

“Regardless of the killer’s motivations,” Erik continued, “I intervened because the President was a mutant. And the authorities found it convenient and easy for them to blame a mutant for his murder. I lost a decade of my life because of that.”

It wasn’t a point Charles could exactly refute, though the implications behind Erik’s words were not ones Charles truly wanted to consider. Kennedy could have been a valuable ally in gaining mutant rights; Charles had wanted to meet with him in order to discuss the future of mutants in the United States, and eventually the world itself. Kennedy had been a good man, and Charles had held out hope that he would have been willing to assist mutants in the same ways he was willing to assist African Americans.

“A miscarriage of justice, Erik, and I will freely admit that,” he conceded, looking Erik in the eye. “Your sentencing and mockery of a trial pains me greatly. At the same time, however, we cannot return suspicion and reaction with more of the same. All that will lead to is an endless cycle of grievances and violence and undue bloodshed.”

Charles could sympathize with the anger and the fear; he hadn’t forgotten his own childhood, the pain and rage he’d experienced as a child. If it hadn’t been for Raven, perhaps he would have gladly gone with Erik, would have gladly gone against the world and may have even taken pleasure in watching it burn. But there was no use considering alternative realities.

“Please, Erik, if we want a better future for mutantkind, we have to break that cycle.”

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Charles expressed his condolence for Erik's imprisonment. And while that had not been the purpose of his reminding Charles of that, it was appreciated by Erik. To at least know that Charles was in agreement over the injustice of the trial and the way it unfolded. He then continued on with words that Erik could not agree with, yet also ones that came as no surprise to him. ""Not endless, Charles," he disagreed, highlighting one particular word that Charles had used in his expression of his own ideals. "For we now know what the future entails. We know that the cycle ends in the extinction of mutants." And that devastated Erik. He had always hoped to fight for mutants freedom and their right to thrive, and had expected to be successful in his attempts. Only to now discover that it was to no avail. For humans had created these machines that caused their destruction. All that Magneto had feared was proven true. And if anything, this added fuel to his fire. For he knew now that he would have to fight harder and with more force and diligence against humans. For they were not going to do mutants any favors in the future.

How could Charles still hold hope that humans would come around, when they had evidence that they would not? Did he still feel the same in the future? Something told Magneto that he did. "A better future," Erik said, repeating Charles words as they played over in his mind. "A better future for who? What future would that be, Charles? One where our kind suffers a genocide that wipes us out from the face of the earth?" The Holocaust was one genocide that had killed eleven million people. And the world would suffer another genocide, this time, against mutants. How many of them died in that one because of homo sapien's inability to accept them? "The cycle will end, that is inevitable. And it will either be with the victory for mutants, or humans. Which future would you prefer?" Who had his loyalty? For Charles was a mutant -- though he had abandoned his powers. Yet he also fought to protect humans. Erik wanted to believe -- perhaps part of him did -- that he would side with mutants. Yet at the same time, he knew better. For he knew that Charles did not see the world as black and white; to him, there were shades of gray.

[x]

“Not endless, Charles,” Erik countered, “for we know what the future entails. We know that the cycle ends in the extinction of mutants.”

Which was as much of a blow to Charles as Cuba had been, if not more. And yet, those Sentinels were only developed as a direct result of Raven killing Trask, of being captured herself. Fear begets hatred begets violence begets fear, and the wheel keeps on turning. They could stop it; they could keep the Sentinel program from ever getting off the ground if they could prevent Raven from giving the U.S. government a reason to actively move against mutantkind. If they could prevent any mutant from giving the government that incentive.

“A better future,” he continued, throwing Charles’s own words back at him. “A better future for who? What future would that be, Charles? One where our kind suffers a genocide that wipes us out from the face of the earth? The cycle will end, that is inevitable. And it will either be with the victory for mutants, or humans. Which future would you prefer?”

No. Charles would not accept a zero-sum game. He couldn’t accept a future with genocide for either mutants or humans; there had to be another way, a third option where both humans and mutants could survive and live. He shook his head.

“A better future for all of us,” he answered. “Trask’s Sentinel program only gets the funding it needs because Raven’s actions in Paris will convince the U.S. government that we are the enemy. If we can stop her, if we can keep the government from ever getting that incentive, we’ll be one step closer to a future where the only possible end isn’t genocide for one group or the other!”

Erik would likely count anything that wasn’t directly in support of mutant superiority as a betrayal, as Charles siding with humans rather than mutants. If that was the case, then...there wasn’t much Charles could do to change that.  Charles would forever be a traitor in Erik's eyes.  A crushing blow, but if the only other alternative was to become a killer, Charles would survive it.

“Humans and mutants alike will suffer because of the Sentinels,” Charles pointed out. “From what Logan described, the Sentinels went from targeting mutants to targeting the humans whose children or grandchildren would be mutants as well. In that future, neither humans nor mutants win. We all suffer.”

And that was the point, wasn’t it? Humans and mutants had to coexist, had to find a way to work together, or everyone would suffer the consequences.

“The humans don’t need to be our enemies, Erik. We need each other, despite what you or they may currently believe. This constant back and forth, this ceaseless desire to exterminate the other out of preemptive fear, will only doom us all in the end.”

He looked up at Erik, taking a deep breath and daring himself to hope, for the first time in years, that maybe Erik could see what Charles saw. The budding cynic in him thought otherwise, but there was always a part of Charles that was willing to believe the best of Erik, no matter how hard he tried to smother it.

“Humans, mutants, it doesn’t matter. It won’t matter. If Trask gets his way, we all must pay the price,” Charles finished. “I chose a future in which none of us have to.”

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Once again, Charles answer should have come as no surprise. He wanted a better future for everyone, but that was far too optimistic. It was proven that mutants and humans could not peacefully coexist; that one race would be hunted. Right now, they were seemingly in the minority. They were considered 'freaks', rejects of society. They had to conceal themselves to fit in with what was perceived as normal. So Erik could not see a world where everyone was happy. While it was true that from what Logan had told them, Trask's project would be approved after his death, it did not change the fact that he was permitted to get this far in his project. He had received the funding from somewhere, and he had used mutants as his personal guinea pigs. Would that not be brought to justice? He knew his friend was trying to convince him of this notion of peaceful coexistence. But after what Erik had witnessed and experienced in this world, he could not share this hope. The only hope he had, was that mutants would thrive and dominate society. "I am not an idealist like you, Charles," Magneto began to tell him. His tone did not make it sound like being an idealist was a bad thing. But it was unrealistic to believe that everything would work out perfectly for everyone.

"Even if we stop the threat of Trask, there will be others." Erik was absolutely certain of that. Their kind would continue to be hunted and threatened. Trask would not be the last one to try and solve the 'mutant problem'. "It may be true that humans are also targeted because of these machines. However the abundance of the suffering is still toward mutants. Because there is only one race that is still standing in the future." So even if humans died, it would be nothing compared to how many mutants died. Humans had wiped out an entire race! It was clear which side was victorious. "I wish I shared your optimism, my friend," he told him. "For do you think I actually enjoy fighting in this war? Do you think I enjoy killing humans?" It wasn't about enjoying it; the act of killing was not something to be enjoyed. But it was necessary. As it was in any war. "I do what is necessary," he added to clarify that it wasn't about deriving joy. It was about surviving and defending mutants. "To be able to live in a society where there is peace, void of persecution and oppression because of inevitable traits a person possesses would truly be a wonderful thing. But the world has never existed in such a way." Whether it was a clash of culture, clash of religion, or in this case, clash of race . . . there would always be oppression.

"I could do nothing during the second world war," he began to say. For he had just been a boy in the clutches of Shaw's captivity and torture. Millions of people had died; innocent people. His family, friends, wiped out because they were regarded as inferior. Mutants would suffer the same fate, only this time, it wasn't just a matter of a few deaths, but rather, the eradication of their entire species. "But I can do something during this war. I will not be idle while our brothers and sisters suffer. So until you can swear to me that Trask will be the last and that stopping the Sentinels from progressing will be the last act we need take so that mutants can live in peace, I will not stop defending our kind." Defending. That was the key word. It was retaliation. For he had not started this war. He was merely one of those who outwardly opposed it by taking public action against it. "And I am sorry that you disagree with my methods. But I will not change them just because you hold the hope that humans can change." He would not apologize for what he was doing, but he would apologize that their views clashed so much. "Hope is not something I can afford during these difficult and dangerous times for mutants." His opinion of humans was far more cynical than Charles'. For while Charles believed in being the better man and taking the higher road, Erik believed in directly fighting opposition.

[x]

“I am not an idealist like you, Charles,” Erik began, his tone relatively neutral. “Even if we stop the threat of Trask, there will be others.”

Of course there would be. Men like Shaw and Trask would always exist; the goodness in people could not exist if there was not a corresponding evil to match it. Charles wouldn’t refute that, even agreed with it. Just as there would always be those who professed racist or anti-Semitic ideology, there would be those who would work against the integration and acceptance of mutantkind. However, that did not justify the extinction of every human just because a handful would seek to exterminate all mutants.

“It may be true that humans are also targeted because of these machines,” he admitted, and Charles glanced away. “However, the abundance of the suffering is still towards mutants. Because there is only one race that is still standing in the future.”

According to Logan, the only race still standing were the Sentinels. Charles had not seen Logan’s memories of the future—didn’t want to see them, didn’t want the images seared into his mind and haunting him for the rest of his days—but his imagination ran away with him: humans and mutants alike, bodies strewn throughout the streets, those who had survived being enslaved, everything Erik remembered from the Third Reich brought back with a vengeance. He shuddered.

“I wish I shared your optimism, my friend. For do you think I actually enjoy fighting this war? Do you think I enjoy killing humans? I do what is necessary.”

Enjoy wasn’t the word Charles would use; it was the word he wanted to use, certainly, as it made Erik much easier to hate, but it wasn’t the right word. If Erik truly enjoyed killing, Charles would have felt it that first night so long ago. He would have never aided Erik in his suicide mission against Shaw, and he never would have gotten in as deep as he had with the man. But the concept of necessity was where they differed. Erik viewed murder and violence as necessary—Charles viewed them as a hindrance at best, abhorrent at worst.

“To be able to live in a society where there is peace, void of persecution and oppression because of inevitable traits a person possesses would truly be a wonderful thing. But the world has never existed in such a way.”

No, it hadn’t, Charles silently conceded as he took a deep breath. Sharing the world was never humanity’s defining trait.

“I could do nothing during the Second World War,” Erik went on, “but I can do something during this war. I will not be idle while our brothers and sisters suffer. So until you can swear to me that Trask will be the last and that stopping the Sentinels from progressing will be the last act we need to take so that mutants can live in peace, I will not stop defending our kind. And I am sorry that you disagree with my methods. But I will not change them just because you hold the hope that humans can change. Hope is not something I can afford during these difficult and dangerous times for mutants.”

“I understand why you do the things you do, Erik,” he admitted. “I understand your fears and your anger, my friend, I truly do. I will even admit that I share a great many of them. But I cannot condone violent response.” He swallowed and shifted in his seat.

“Mutants are not better than humans, and humans are not worse than mutants. We are all subject to the same fears, the same instincts, and we are all capable of great things. This is why we must face this next stage in evolution together: one gene is all that separates us. Nothing more or less than what’s always separated us.”

One day, those in positions of power would be mutants themselves, or they would have mutant children or grandchildren. The common people were full of those who wanted peace, who were willing to judge another on the content of their character rather than their genetics. Education was the key—educate the rising generation to tolerate and accept mutants, and soon enough, they would be taking positions of power and having children of their own. It was a ripple effect, something that would take time, but that was how humans worked. And really, they were capable of change in remarkably small periods of time.

"There is a common good," Charles added.  "One that helps us overcome our fears, that makes us willing to take risks to help others.  Not every human will condemn us, Erik, just as not every mutant will work towards the good of mutantkind."

[Erik Lehnsherr]

To some extent, perhaps Erik knew that Charles understood his reasons for what he did. But hearing him vocalize that, provided him with a strong reassurance. He supposed it was things like that which kept a bond between them. One that allowed them to engage in conversations that they did right now, rather than just remain silent until the mission that brought them together was complete. But it also showed that Charles was a far more tolerant man than Erik. For Erik could still not understand how Charles could give humans the benefit of the doubt to the degree that he did; how the mutant could one day hope that humans would accept them. This was where his friend's optimism truly shined through, and where Erik's opposite mindset -- his cynicism -- tended to surface. Speaking of things they disagreed on, equality among mutants and humans was among them. Erik was starting to see more and more the superiority of mutants. They were a stronger race. After all, was that not why humans feared them? They feared being overpowered by a race more dominant; one which possess skills that had once been deemed impossible.

"I believe our definitions of great strongly differ." For it was mutants who possessed great powers; who were capable of great things. And humans? Well, their capabilities rested on their ability to wipe out another race. Erik did not care if it was a narrow minded perspective; it was the one he accepted and now the future held proof of it. "This desire to face the next stage of evolution in peaceful harmony should not be a one sided attempt. As I said before, it is humans who have always made the first strike. And I understand that you believe retaliating with violence will not resolve the issue, however it shows that humans are intolerant of our race. It is they who do not wish to coexist. They are the ones who can not accept our mutations because they fear what we can do. They fear being overpowered. Which is why they used us to create machines to ensure this does not happen." Sentinels. Machines capable of killing them completely, where as what have mutants done? Have they bound together to create technology that would wipe out the entirety of humans? No. They are simply a minority in society, fighting for their right to exist. That was after all, what the Brotherhood stood for.

"You may be right in that not all humans will condemn us." That much Erik could agree with, for there were people in his past who proved Charles' words to be true. For Erik's own mother had not condemned him when she learned of his abilities. Magda had not condemned him when she knew of what he could do. Erik could not disagree with Charles' words without sounding like a hypocrite. But it was not enough to alter his opinion on the matter. "However those that do, tend to be in strong and influential positions in society. They hold a great power over the public and are able to feed them lies and deceptive information which perpetuates humans fear and intolerance of us." Trask. Who was he? A nobody before he starting spouting off his anti-mutant campaign. In which, he was granted position and funding to create Sentinels. "We do not hold that same power and position in society." Not yet. "And those who do, end up dead." Like John. F. Kennedy. Mutants who have the power to better the circumstances for mutants, are hindered from doing so.

[x]

“I believe our definitions of great strongly differ,” Erik pointed out.

Of course they were. If their definitions of anything didn’t differ so strongly, would they even be here? Or would they be back in Westchester, tending to a thriving school and getting progressively drunk over nightly games of chess and debates over whatever topics they could come up with? The thought sent a fresh wave of emotion crashing through him and Charles swallowed and looked away from Erik in an attempt to keep himself under control.

“This desire to face the next stage of evolution in peaceful harmony should not be a one-sided attempt,” he continued. “As I said before, it is humans who have always made the first strike. And I understand that you believe retaliating with violence will not resolve the issue, however it shows that humans are intolerant of our race.”

It also showed that mutants were just as intolerant of humans, but Charles swallowed his words.  

“It is they who do not wish to coexist. They are the ones who cannot accept our mutations because they fear what we can do. They fear being overpowered. Which is why they used us to create machines to ensure this does not happen.”

Erik had a well-developed cynicism that was as impressive as it was depressing. It would be something Erik would always carry with him, no matter what happened to prove it misplaced. He would only see the worst, would always be waiting for the axe to fall. Charles had become far too familiar with the feeling, himself.

“You may be right,” Erik conceded, “in that not all humans will condemn us. However, those that do tend to be in strong and influential positions in society. They hold a great power over the public and are able to feed them lies and deceptive information which perpetuates humans’ fear and intolerance of us.”

None of which would be given the chance to grow if mutants refused to live up to those lies. There was merit to the concept of being the better man, regardless of what Erik might think. Just look at all the success Dr. King had had with his nonviolent approach to civil rights. He could still remember the man’s powerful voice as he spoke from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

“We do not hold that same power and position in society,” Erik finished. “And those who do end up dead.”

“Lies and deception can only go so far when the truth fights back,” Charles retorted. “We must disprove the lies, prove to the world that their leaders are wrong about us. That we bare no more evil in our hearts than ordinary humans. You must not allow yourself to hate the entirety of humanity because their leaders choose to bring us harm. If we want to succeed, Erik, we’ll need as many human allies as we can get.”

It was satisfying to hurt the ones who hurt you—Charles would freely admit that; that punch back in the Pentagon had been one of the best things to happen to him in years—but there was a difference between catharsis and simple fury.

“We do not yet occupy high-level positions, but one day we will. Until then, however, we should aim to garner as many allies in those already there. We cannot achieve the goal of freedom and safety alone, Erik. And we shouldn’t have to.”

He swallowed and shifted in his seat before continuing. 

"We cannot make ourselves the villains in this struggle," he insisted.  "We cannot allow ourselves to be guilty of wrongful acts while we fight for our freedoms.  We must be the better men, and not just in our genetics.  We must be willing to hold ourselves to a higher level of dignity than those who would seek to bring us down."

[Erik Lehnsherr]

Truth. When truth fights back. When humans perceived mutants as a threat, and then what, they fought against persecution? "We fight to survive," Erik stated, unwavering in his belief for this. "You may argue that humans do the same, but right now, there is only one race being hunted." Magneto did not hunt down mutants and strive to kill them. He targeted those who had already made it a point to target them. He never would have even considered firing those missiles had they not attempted to kill them first. But it was retaliation. Besides, not only were they hunted, but there was only one race in the future on the brink of extinction. And it was was not the human race. "We do not fight to feed into these lies, but humans had pushed us to this level. They provoked us. The point of having no other alternative. We either live in hiding, fear of discovery. Or we fight back against persecution." The former was not something Erik could do, because he lacked the same hope and faith that Charles did.

He could not wait this out. He had to do something more proactive. Something to stop their kind from dying. Not idly believe in human decency and dignity. When have they ever showed it before? "I fear how many mutants will be dead by the time we have successfully disproved their lives and prove to the world our innocence." Why should they even have to? "We have a right to live. As free citizens of this world." But that would not be possible until they apparently proved themselves to humans. "We should have nothing to prove," Magneto stated. Charles then brought the subject of human allies. Personally, Magneto thought them to be quite useless. Humans could never be trusted because at the end of the day, they would be loyal only to themselves and their kind. Even Erik admitted this was a very cynical perspective but how could he believe any differently? "You wish to speak of human allies?" Erik began to say, the question a rhetorical one. He said it to bring forth the subject. "How many human allies thus far have you found to be helpful?" How many actually advocated for mutant rights? "What has Moira done for us?" Erik purposely brought up that name because she had been very aware of everything.

She had remained with them as they trained, even apparently initially sought out Charles. Yet what good had she done for them? "You say that human allies can be valuable, yet what has the CIA done for us, apart from give orders to destroy us? And the one human who knew us, who had the ability to advocate and defend us, did nothing." How had she defended them? How had she helped at all? Erik was well aware that he was in prison for ten years, so perhaps Charles could offer information that proved him wrong. That showed Moira was indeed a valuable ally to them and done more than Erik assumed. But that was precisely what Erik was basing his words off of: assumptions. Either way, Erik did not trust Moira. Her presumed inaction just further strengthening his distrust for her. "Once again, I admire your optimism and hope my friend. But I am unable to share it. It is not a lack of patience that compels me to act. It is a lack of tolerance and a fear that our kind will continue to die each day we attempt to wait for humans to accept us." It was far too great a risk for something that could not even be certain.